I am generally a very cautious person. I think things through carefully. I don’t make rash decisions. I am good about not getting too excited, and I try (with somewhat less success) not to get too down as well.
But right now I am pretty excited about possibility of treatments for AS. I just have this gut feeling that Finn’s life will improve remarkably in 2012. Frankly, the feeling scares the hell out of me, because I don’t know what I will feel if I am wrong. That’s not exactly true. Honestly, I don’t know how I will deal with the disappointment if 2012 passes without a breakthrough or significant treatment.
So I keep trying to lessen my expectations, to temper my feelings, and to kill my hope, all in an effort to avoid despair and disappointment. But it isn’t really working. My hope, at least this time, isn’t giving up the fight all that easily. I guess I am okay with that. My inner Andy Dufresne keeps telling me that hope is a good thing.
I think he is right.
In other news, Finn enjoyed his Christmas in Louisiana. He had fun with his American grandparents, he really liked having unrestricted access to the television (he saw “Snoopy Come Home” at least a dozen times), and he seemed to enjoy exploring my parents’ home. His exploration of the house led to many discoveries, including the realization that he is now tall enough to turn on most faucets without assistance, and the understanding of how power plugs work (which scares the living hell out of me, since we can no longer unplug things and just tell Finn that they don’t work anymore).
I learned a few things as well. For instance, I learned the following:
- you might think that stickers will easily come off of airplane windows, but let me tell you that they will not. I don’t know if it is the moisture, the pressure change, or the temperature differentials, but those damned things become permanently affixed to airplane windows sometime during the landing process. I still feel guilty about the mess we made of one window on our flight into Shreveport.
- flights are much easier if there is no one in the rows immediately around ours. That way Finn can generally root around without disturbing anyone, which is really, really, fantastic.
- sometimes pilots get spooked by heavy fog and end up aborting landing attempts. When that happens, my wife loses all confidence in the pilot and I end up loosing all circulation in the hand that is closest to my wife. Funny how those things work.
Anyway, the time in Louisiana was good, but we are all happy to be back home.
Happy 2012! Let’s hope that this year lives up to its promise and justifies my hope.
